Saturday, December 31, 2011

Ever Since. A historically accurate guide through history... Kind of

 Leading up to 2012, many historical events occurred on December 31st that helped shaped the world in to the planetary society we are today. Let's take a few moments and review a few & reflect on where it is that we, as carbon based lifeforms screwed it all up ;)

  • Someone decided two thousand twelve years ago today, forget the previous 4 billion, lets start counting the years tomorrow.

  • In 406: 80,000 Vandels attack the Rhine at Mainz & thus the first usage of "Get off my lawn you damn hooligans" was recorded

  • 1492: 100,000 Jews expelled from Sicily which didn't turn out to be a big deal because thanks to Columbus' discovery that same year, they relocated to Boca Raton.

  • 1669: France & Brandenburg sign secret treaty and a concerto was born.

  • 1711: Duke of Marlborough fired as English army commander. Keeping with his military training, he moved to America and started killing people with cancer.

  • 1841: Alabama becomes the first state to license dental surgeons. Early the following year, the last dentist closes its door due to lack of business.

  • 1879: Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of incandescent lighting. The following day, whales around the world breathed a sign of relief

  • 1907: For 1st time a ball drops at Times Square to signal new year; Dick Clark hosted the event.

  • 1961: Kennedy & Khrushchev exchange holiday greetings... and wives.

  • 1993: Loveboat actress Jill Whelan weds. No joke here; just when was the last time you heard that name?

  • 1999: Panama takes control of the canal from the United States. They immediately filled it in and said "We don't even like boats; we asked for a camel!"

  • 2011: Some idiot takes true historical events and spins them in to a lame attempt at humor that makes Carrot Top's material look like Shakespeare in comparison
Have a safe and happy New Year everyone!

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