Everybody Hurts..... Sometimes

When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang on

*  Gremlin Nads - Everybody Hurts *

Indeed.... There are times I never reveal myself to anyone and then there are times that I have a few people to turn to to rant upon; then there are times I hear a song and it reminds me to buck up

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

Most people know that I currently have a job as a test driver for one of the big three auto companies and due to a severe case of over hiring of late I, and many others, have not been getting scheduled to work much and the loss of hours & income has become quite a strain on me mentally.

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on

And through all of this down time, I have been frantically searching for a new job, of any type. I literally have posted & dropped off close to thirty resumes and applications a week to places as far and wide as factory work to convenience stores & everything in between. To date, I have not received an interview request from any of them.

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no

In the meantime, others that are close to me, also frantically and casually have been looking for work as well but in their case, they turn in one inquiry and almost immediately get a response. And this has caused me to become a little disillusioned with myself and the whole thing.

Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

 Not to the point of doing anything to harm myself or even to call myself depressed, but it has caused me to reconsider my confidence in myself. All my supporters I have confided in have done a wonderful job reassuring me that something will come up and everything happens for a reason, but again, that doubt lingers in my mind.

If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

 My entire life, belief and self-confidence in myself has always been my strong suit. Not fearing failure and willing to take a risk to succeed was second nature. But this lapse in confirmation of late has left me in doubt of my abilities and shook me.

Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

  The support has helped but then today I hear the song scattered through this post and think back to my friend Courtney; How she asked me to record this for her when she was down and how it really meant a lot to her that I recorded it for her. Yes, it's written and originally performed by REM but I listened to my version today as I was having all of this second guessing and like her, it reaffirmed in me that I will have down times and I need to be strong and...

So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts