Saturday, March 17, 2012

An Open Letter to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame....

Dear Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,


 I don't know what it takes to get included in to your exclusive club but I can only imagine that there has to be some kind of politics involved in the decision making..... What I mean by that is; I really don't get how your selection process works. Does your selection committee you just pick their favorites? or is there a rational way they go about choosing who gets in to your hall?

 I am going to guess there is a list of qualifications that go in to choosing each years selections and I am going to make a small list of what I think that list may, in part, be included and in comparison, I'll show why the band Yes (my favorite group) has been overlooked by your committee for far too many years.

 In the end perhaps you can tell me why it is that this band is not displayed in the halls of your institution along with all of rocks other trailblazers?

1) Influence on Rock: Along with Pink Floyd (who is in) Yes was one of the early (if not one of the first two) groups of what is known as Progressive Music. They paved the way for bands like ELP and Rush in the early years to groups like Muse and Porcupine Tree today to create music that is structured and not merely just three cords and a catchy beat to be heard and loved by millions of fans. Not only were they one of the early stalwarts of Progressive Music but are one of the only groups that evolved with the times to stay relevant in a given era's musical style, particularly in the 60's, 70's and 80's which brings me to point number two.

2) Record Sales: In the forty plus years Yes has been a recording act they have sold close to 50 million albums world wide and for the sake of this argument (since you are located in the United States) lets us use U.S. chart figures: From 1971 to 2011, eleven albums charted within the the Top 40 of the Billboard Hot 200 album chart with seven of those albums reaching Top 10 status for lengthy amounts of time. All eleven albums,save for the latest one, Fly From Here (2011) achieving Gold &/or Platinum status from the RIAA (Recording industry association of America)

 Not only has Yes had commercial album success but singles as well. In the U.S. alone, they have had five Billboard Top 40 hits including the song Owner of a Lonely Heart which reached #1 in January of 1984.

3) Fan Base: On the road for much of its 40 plus years, Yes has garnered a massive following. The numbers it still sees at its shows today proves that to be true. People of all ages flock to see them; I, myself have seen them 13 times since 1984 and I am in the minority with major Yes fans. They travel well. Rarely will you attend a show where there are many empty seats and never do you leave thinking the band is just going through the motions on stage. There is a true connection between the band and their fans. The proof of that can be seen if a former band member tours solo or with another group, the Yes faithful will almost always be at that show to show their support.

4) Legacy: Rare will you find a more widespread legacy than Yes. Throughout rock over the past 40 years you will undoubtedly find the Yes footprint on many of, not only rock, but all of music's floors. From Alan White (Yes drummer and member of the Plastic Ono Band) to the bands Asia (Steve Howe of Yes ) and The Buggles (Goeff Downes and Trevor Horn of Yes) to Rick Wakeman's (former Yes keyboardist) revolutionary rock opera shows in the 70s, Vangelis of Chariots of Fire fame (studio work with Jon Anderson) and the numerous Hollywood blockbuster soundtracks written and recorded by former Yes member Trevor Rabin, the Yes legacy is all over and can not be denied. Bands such as Toto, Led Zeppelin, Styx and many more have sought out and worked with current and former members of Yes because they know how musically strong the members of this band are.

  So there you have it in a nutshell. How can a band with such accomplishments, following and influence on rock music not be in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is beyond me. Perhaps you, the members of the selection committee can tell me what your rational is and what must a band of such commercial success, ingenuity and fan base do to enter your halls? I'm writing this as a letter to you, the hall of fame and as a blog to the masses to which I include my name and personal e-mail address. That is how serious I take this subject. I await your reply

Sincerely,

Dan Stehle
Lifelong Yes fan
tosol.dan@gmail.com

Monday, February 20, 2012

The 5 Types of Social Media Personalities

*Fair warning to readers: I'm being ultra honest in this post and will probably piss some friends (virtual and real life) off but what I am about to post needs to be said for both my continued SM presence and because some people, in my opinion, need to hear it. If I offend anyone, or lose any real life or virtual friends because of the following, that's too bad, but it needs to be said. You may whole heartedly disagree with some of what's to come but remember; you have every right to disagree with it and to even tell me you do, but you have no right to attack me for what is essentially my opinion because it is mine and not yours*
 

  Recently I took a few days off from my social media (SM) existence because frankly I was getting pissed off at the influx of stuff I was seeing in my timeline. I'll admit I am not the type of person that can just ignore things.... No, actually I can, and have, but there is a breaking point where everyone has had enough. Maybe my breaking point just has a weaker test strength, I dunno.

  Without getting too in-depth on the whole reasoning and without naming names of those who have gotten under my craw (which is not who I am publicly) I came up with a good idea (in my opinion) which will allow me to point out a little checklist of the types of people there are on SM (we are going to use Twitter for this particular experiment) allowing you to maybe figure out which category(s) you may fall in to. The categories in and of themselves are not good nor bad but perhaps if implemented in certain situations or used with a lack of couth may be considered worse then others per say.

The Serial Re-Tweeters (RT's) - This is you if say 50% of your own posts in your timeline are re-tweets of other peoples posts. This does not count if you RT something as a form of or include as response to the original tweetor. Some people carry on conversations in that manner and that is fine. My concern is people who a) overly RT peoples opinions, political message, website link or news stories or b) think that it is important to everyone else that every celebrity (or pseudo-celebrity) they follow needs to be read, followed or lets be frank idolized. No offense but if I wanted to follow celebrities, I would. An occasional RT of something cogent or funny they posted, as you would with a normal persons post is fine, but if your RTing a celebrity daily or more, it's a bit much. Let's be frank; they're entertainers so they thrive on attention and twitter is a gold mine for attention. In normal media outlets if someone doesn't care to pay attention to a certain celebrity, they turn the channel. In SM, if you don't wish to follow them, you don't.... But then some people you follow take RTing too far and you are forced to see a persons post you don't wish too. Moderation folks. Be honest with yourself, do you really think the celebrity is going to care or respond to you every time you RT their stuff? Probably not.

The Attention Whores - This is touchy because most will and have said everyone is on SM for attention. To that I say no, not in the manner as intended. Attention is a real evil entity (see celebrities above) Some people just need people to pay attention to them. Whether it is from a lack of confidence as a child and a feeling of empowerment in the relative confinement of being somewhat hidden behind a keyboard, I don't know; but there are people on SM that really need to be given attention for whatever reason. I have followers like this and to a certain degree it is fine, but when the longing becomes almost a second job for some, things need to be changed in your life. An online attention whore was once defined as someone who spends more than half the day on twitter or someone who posts more than 50 times a day but I don't think with the proliferation of smart phones and the ability for some to tweet freely from work that it's the case anymore. To me, an attention whore is someone who posts 30-50 times a day and is constantly (75% or more of their posts) a) trying to impress people with (and overly push) their creations, words, or opinions b) most of their tweets are about issues they have (and they always seem to have something going wrong) c) how the world has wronged them but in the same timeline post about how grateful they are d) include themselves in to every conversation and (if local) invite themselves to join in on whatever fun is being planned e) purposely post things to get people to react (for the good or bad) and f) if you have (ex.) 1500 followers but only follow 500 back. The last one is a celebrity move and if you are like that and are not a celebrity, you should really step back and reevaluate things.

  Being popular on twitter is no different than it was in high school; ultimately it gets you nothing but a false sense of satisfaction in the real world. Perhaps everyone is on SM to garner some sort of attention, but SM (in my view) is a meeting place for like-minded people to meet, gather and discuss. I read recently in another blog where someone said replying to every tweet is not possible and twitter is not instant messaging; I disagree. If the tweet sent to you is not answerable, then fine. But if someone takes the time to send you a message, it is only polite to at the least show the same respect to send a small reply to them. If you have all the time to send out your own posts, then you should have the same time to reply; and if you are selective about who gets preferential reply time, then that is a whole other issue we will avoid for now.

Number Jockeys & Celebrity Worshipers - We touched on this a bit earlier but let us expand upon it. If your entire SM existence is all about garnering the most followers as possible, I have no issue with that, matter of fact I think it's mildly humorous when I read a RT from someone about how someone else needs xx more followers to hit xxx number. If you get those followers to reach said number and follow them back then all is good with the world. I, personally don't want to have a high number of followers nor do I want to follow a large number of people. I'm not on here to change the world, to boost my ego by having total strangers tell me how great I am, to follow every celebrity on the planet in hopes they will reply to me one day (which I have done in the past, no longer though) and in kind think (and yes I know people who think this way) because they replied to me, that we are somehow great friends. I am here to slowly build a group of like-minded people I can enjoy a good conversation with, have a good laugh and smile.

  Before I go on, let me clear something up. The previous comment about celebs and people thinking they are friends does not include all of my friends that I know have had numerous contact with. Some have been very kind & helpful to some close friends of mine. The people I refer to are those who get one or two replies from a celebrity and think they are now close, personal life long friends. That's just frankly spooky folks. And if some of you read this and think "is he talking about me?" Probably not because I'm quite sure the muse for that scenario wants nothing to do with me anymore and is most likely not a reader, but.... I could be wrong. My point is (as stated earlier) celebrities are attention seekers and twitter is a grand place for them to garner attention. Don't get me wrong, a lot of celebs seem to be truly open to fans and make an effort to reply to them, but one reply from them makes our day; constant tweets from us to them is just an ever building list of words they have to read. Lets be honest, if you got in a car wreck, they wouldn't pause for a second like we do for them. Why? Because they don't know you personally. Sounds mean to say it like that but it's the truth.

Serial Deleter's - This one I have no issue with but for the sake of being even keeled, I'll add it. Serial deleter's are those that for some reason or another delete whole conversations on their timeline. I'm not sure why they do that, you'd have to ask them. I will say that, it does appear that they are trying to hide something from someone and if that's the case, maybe SM isn't your thing. Sidebar to that are people who talk on the main stream about how much of a different world direct messages (DM's) are to the main stream. It may well be, but in my view, you advertising that you have this private little world of people is akin to high schoolers spouting off about all the cliques they're in and as much as you scream at folks for being immature, doing stuff like that in your 30's on social media really proves who the mature ones are.

Comedians - I'll admit, I fall in to this category because generally I like to make people laugh but there can be and often is a fine line between what's funny to one and offensive to another. Then there's a not so fine line between what isn't funny to you at all. Let's take the second one first: Everyone has a different sense of humor; one person may be hilarious to you, yet I think they are dumber than Carrottop after downing a bottle of moonshine. In and of that, there is no issue. Normally, if you don't think someone is funny, you don't follow them. And as a rule any RT's they get that you may see are few and far between that it is irrelevant. But then there is the fine line humor.  The Racial, Social and Political humor that really boils the pot. And you know it's not really the humor that heats the water, it's the double standard that people use when they push and continue to sell said humor. This has become abundant this election season and the main point to me taking the pulpit about all of this.

  Let me begin by saying, I have made political jokes about opposing points of view & fully understand and accept that there will be rebuttal jokes and snarks made about my leanings but that is where the issue lands. There has been an apparent disconnect between both sides and their acceptance of core beliefs on the oppositions side and because of that, the jokes and flat out insults have become sharp and in my opinion, wrong. People talk all the time about Fox news and conservatives being racist, religious zealots and inhumane, while the other side blames liberals for being liars and back stabbers willing to piss the Constitution down the drain to get re-elected. Is any, or all of that true? Maybe, maybe not. The point everyone is missing (including regular voting citizens on SM) is there has always been two points of view in this country. ALWAYS. Neither side is completely right or totally wrong. People have differing views on a salvo of topics. It's what makes this a free country.

  The issue has gone far beyond whether you take a little jab at a political stance someone may have to taking unwarranted and blatantly ruthless stabs at their belief system and that is absolutely wrong. You can not demean someones beliefs just because you don't agree with them, then get absolutely incensed if they do the same to you. Why? Because that makes you a hypocrite. There are a lot of hypocrites on social media....... I gave a little space there because I'm sure a shit ton of you feel offended by that. Also, you can not go around acting all passive and peace loving by supporting things like No H8, Anti-Bullying and other peaceful ventures then turn around in the same time line and wish a politician be dead. That also makes you a hypocrite. They may just be venting words to you, but saying them publicly offends people who may not have the same belief system as you. You know what the easiest way to avoid getting mad at opposing viewpoints is? Turn off Fox News! Change NPR! If you don't hear it, you wont get mad. And don't give me the "I need to know what the opposition is saying for election time" That's a crock! People that feel that strongly about issues, know who they are voting for already and no surprise candidate will change their mind. Point is, you like to be angry, you like to spew venom and like it or not, you like that being outlandish garners you attention, just like modern day politicians.

Sidebar: Before you all go calling me out on my "don't watch it" two things: 1) I don't watch or listen to them and 2) I warned you in red at the beginning that this may piss you off.

  So bottom line: Do any of those remind you of you? If so, it's not a bad thing, just maybe something you need to be aware of. I freely admit, I need to work on getting less worked up over others comments and I am working on being more passive. I mute people, delete people (some I really liked) and screen out as much of what annoys me as I possibly can.  Social Media is not a bad thing, just remember, it's an outlet, a tool, a guide; not a real life application. While it can be useful to vent, to laugh, to give you opportunities, to get your "brand" out (in moderation) it is not a cure but rather a band-aid to what troubles you. It's not going to get you any trips to red carpets, allow you to hang out with your new celebrity friends. Except for rare occasions it's probably not going to find your true love. It's not a way for you to gain, re-gain or acquire a high school dream of being popular. It may give you attention in a fleeting sense but if you need attention so bad, look around you. There is your husband, your wife, your kids, your family, friends, neighbors; most of them are probably willing to give you all the attention you require and you'll be surprised; they'll probably make you feel a lot more content than any of us on social media ever could.

Good Night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Wince


I wince at the dawn of tomorrow
With fleeting hearts and vivid confusion
The world tips silently down the road

I wince at the forgotten words of yore
A canvas of overtures and vague allegations
The brotherhood of man leaks venom in to every word

I wince at change as it's "righted"
Holding candles in place with steely eyes
The adversaries gleam across the oceans

I wince at time because all will die
When giants of time step up with fervor
But crystalline spires withhold their step

I wince at the eve of tomorrow
A barren landscape edged with sorrow
It all ends, with all to blame

I wince... at our ignorace... in shame

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Sometimes You Just Have to Bite the Bullet (& Grow Up)


  Ya know the word respect gets tossed around a lot of late, especially by those 30 & under. And I don't mean that to be a knock against all young people. Most of them are great, hard working individuals. But of those aforementioned people, I think you would be hard pressed to find one who uses the word "disrespectful" the phrase "you're disrespecting me" or claims "they deserve respect" in both their everyday life conversation much less as a point of emphasis in damn near every argument/debate they get in to.

  That said, there has almost always been a disconnect between youth and experience. It goes as far back as the middle ages when a cocky young boy would tell his mother to "hand him another hunk of fuckin mutton" in a very *gulp* disrespectful manner. But in almost every situation from that one to now, that was just a case of youthful vigor.... I mean who among us at one point hasn't had the fantasy when they were young that they were the greatest person on earth, hailed by all; from the lowliest bootlick to the richest Kings of Persia? Oh yeah right, that was just me... Please!

  We've all been like that, but nowadays, it seems like a certain segment of the population have fixated themselves on the idea that respect is given and not earned. They think that if they don't get everything they want without having to work for it, then everyone is against them and we are all disrespecting them but not bowing down to their obvious greatness.

  And don't get me wrong, I'm not just complaining about the young here.... People of all ages think that they should have it handed to them in spades for little or no effort. Some people are content to sit on unemployment and not even try to find any sort of work; Some people are content to collect welfare & live the high life while other people work their asses off and struggle to support their family; and then there are those that are willing to just sponge off others and then complain that getting just a part time job isn't worth it to them just for the sake of working.

  Let me cover the last point first: Any job that "earns" you any amount of money, that you didn't have before is going to gain you a personal profit. That's economics 101 son! Using the argument that you would just be working to pay for the gas to get there is moot. If you earn $25 and spend $20 on gas, then you have "made money" I'm no genius but $5 is more than no dollars, so your argument that "it's not worth it to you to work for that is flawed. Tossing in your argument that you have a kid to support and student loans to pay & that any job less than a full time, good paying job isn't worth the effort proves to me that you can not honestly believe what you're saying. But.... I'm just disrespecting you by bringing it up so I'll just be over here counting how much of my paycheck is going to support your kid.

  Which brings me to point two: I have absolutely no issue helping the less fortunate by way of government subsidised assistance via working peoples earned income but the sad truth is, a good portion of the people that get "welfare" have no intention of looking for work or work "off the books" (yes, I know of someone who does that and it takes every fiber of my being not to call in on them) so they can also take advantage of free government money. This one boils me so much because I have family members who bust their ass 50 hours a week to support their children in a low paying job because of deadbeat fathers but they can not get any "assistance" because they make just over the threshold; yet example A scams the system & lives high (and I mean "High") on the hog. Speaking of high; I am all for people passing (and continuing to pass) drug tests in order to qualify for assistance. You may be pro-pot but in my opinion, if you can afford to buy pot, go ahead, smoke away; but if you need government assistance, then you should not have the money to afford buying, much less using any illegal drugs or alcohol. If you need help and are willing to work in conjoinment with getting help to raise your kid, then I am all for helping people out. But if you want to just sit there and have babies to live for free (and yes, it happens see example A again) then sorry, you need to grow up and realize fun time is over.

  Unemployment: This one is a little harder to cover. There are a lot of people that have been or still are on unemployment and I empathise with them because I have been there. But some people are making a career out of it without even trying to look. Let me preface this one by saying some people should be getting unemployment. If you lost your job, your job was cut or you simply got laid off them fine but there comes a point where everyone should run out of extensions. A friend of mine dated (I am so glad I can say the past tense word on that) a guy that had been on unemployment for almost two years and he wasn't even looking for work until they finally forced his hand. This guy was willing to just sit home and collect money for, essentially free. Look we all pay in to unemployment vis a vis our tax deductions on our paychecks & our employee's have to match that amount and it goes in to a pool for people to draw out of if they get laid off. Okay fine, that's all well and good but with the way our economy has been, a ton of people (me included at one point) lost their jobs and that pool dried up. The government has passed extensions allowing for the out of work to draw longer than normal because the job market was weak. But then we fall in to a dangerous, almost welfarish like situations where some people (said person above) were willing to just sit home and let the free bucks roll in. Look, I looked and looked, Hell I still look and though I was very fortunate with the job I'm about to start, I kept looking until I found something..... anything that would hire me. I worked at Walmart, part time unloading trucks for 8.15 an hour just to work but some people will not do that. It's not worth their time (and takes away the free unemployment cash) to work. Sound familiar?

  This is what's wrong with the country folks. This is why we are in such drastic times. People would rather sit home and collect free, unearned money, than work for it; or they would rather sit home and sponge off others. Something has to change. This laziness, this "I deserve" attitude has to stop. Bringing this all full circle; respect, like a pay check,  has always been earned and not given and until we all realize that, we will never be out of this quagmire we are in.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Free Range Brain


  In keeping with my desire to write more, sometimes you'll get a nonsensical post... Like now! A variation of a few things that don't constitute a full page but in my mind, deserve some brain activity.

(Meant as humor so Tree Huggers, Green Peacers & anyone named Sunflower just relax & enjoy the Peyote)

1) In a public restroom the other day during a pit stop for work, I do my business, wash (or warch if you're from Ohio) my hands, then go to the automatic hand dryer to complete the process. As I am drying my hands, I'm reading the top of the dryer and I see (in summary)

  • Name: Clean Planet
  • Fine Print: Helping to keep our environment fresh, clean & abundantly strong by saving the deforestation of trees to make paper towels.
  • My Mental Reaction: Cool, saving trees is good.... But this thing is electric, by which fossil fuels are used to create the electricity needed to run this apparatus that allows me to dry my hands sans a towel ergo not keeping our environment "abundantly strong"

  I know, I know, you're thinking "Cool it with the rhetoric Dan, you're just taking a leak" But Hey! These are the things that keep me from going all Michael Douglas on Michael Moore. They may seem trite to you, but to me all information, however menial, is interesting. But the whole towel thing leads me right in to question two...

2) Do you ever wonder how and even why things get invented? I don't mean big things like homes, cars or illumination. That stuff was cutting edge. I'm talking about things like a violin. Not to say a violin isn't cutting edge but illumination is damn near a necessity. Someone sat down and said "Damn it's dark. If only I could see, I would be able to continue beheading these infidels & have them done by morning" Then they went ahead, killed a whale, drained it's oil, soaked a rag in it, lit it *poof* we have illumination!

  But a violin took some out there thinking. Someone, at some point had some wood, some sheep intestines and a stick. They were probably bored, drunk or both so they tied them all together and ran the stick across it and thought "Damn, that sounded pretty sweet" and hence a musical instrument was born. But unlike the illumination process above, I can't imagine that someone gutted a sheep just to see if their intestines would sound good playing Mozart. (I know the timeline is off, it's a joke) The whale oil test was no doubt a measure of scientific investigation, but I just can't see cat gut in the same light.

Hey Light! I unwittingly tied the two together!

  Anyway, now that you've all moved a few steps away from the computer, I'll rap it up by saying these are the types of things I think about when my mind is left to its own accord and I have nothing to write about. Please forward all cease and desist &/or restraining orders to my FB account and I'll see you next time for another episode of "Holy Hell Dan's Gone Nuts"







Monday, January 23, 2012

The Date From.....

I've been thinking about this one for a while....

  Couple Saturday's ago I went on a date. Not just any date; a first date. The date where you're not sure how it's going to go. Are you going to be a total tool and louse tings up? Are things going to go so great that the night just magically flies by with the calm smoothness of a Stanley Jordan guitar solo? Is it going to be a raging disaster? DING We have a winner!

  Let me give some back ground. This date was in essence a "hook up" date. What do I mean? Someone we both knew put us in touch thinking we'd be a good fit. It wasn't a blind date per se; we had previously met at a social gathering, however briefly, but there was no over extended conversation other than "nice to meet you" and the ever present Dan salutation "take care" as I was leaving.

  As the third party decided to "hook us up" by giving out our respective numbers to one another, we did have a few extended text and phone conversations that were the ordinary get to know you Q&A sessions that new folks generally have in said situations. All in all they were pleasant experiences, but with my usual omnipresent skepticism well entrenched as usual.

  Now some of you are thinking "Dan? If you have skepticism going in, how are you ever going to find someone?" Well, my skepticism has rarely let me down and as you read on, you'll see why...

  During our conversations we covered a bevy of personal choices, opinions and topics in the prototypical manner humans do to get to know each other. We covered sports, hobbies, movies, political correctness, right on down to families. I explicitly stated that I am very liberal with most forms of verbiage. I do not get offended by the use of most lingo, whether I use them or not, because I understand that most people do not mean said words to be meant as harmful. But there are certain words, phrases or jokes I do not use, do not like to be used around or to me and will confront someone if they are used. I made it a point to give the example of the word Retarded. I informed the date, that I have people in my life, both family and friends that are special needs individuals and I do not under any circumstance, think the use of that word (however entrenched in the lexicon it has become) is in any way cute, funny or acceptable. She agreed totally with me on the phone. (Store this scenario for later)

  Another thing that was pointed out clearly to her was, I can not, under any circumstances text or talk during work hours yet daily she'd text me, countless times while at work and then followed them up with the standard (and people who know me, know how much I so love being pestered) "You mad?" "You Busy?" "Why aren't you replying to me?" Another point of contention with me to feel skeptical. But I'm willing to over look it as maybe just a case of, me being picky.

  As you can see, I wasn't getting the "vibe" from this woman, I wasn't really feeling a connection and in my mind I wasn't thinking it would become of anything, but (yes there's the but) she kept bringing up going on a date to me so finally I agreed. I figured, maybe I'm just being cynical? We set up a date. Simple enough. If it doesn't go well, that will be the end of it, right?

  The date started off on the wrong foot. The place I picked was hidden in a giant strip mall that neither of us could find. We talked on the phone while searching and end up being almost next to one another in the lot looking for the place. Next, we get out of our respective cars, exchange pleasantries and I call the place to get more concrete directions. Ends up the place is right there; sort of hidden behind a row of trees that most people would have missed. Being the polite gentleman I am, I offered to drive her over to the place. She agrees, gets in my car and the first words out of her mouth is about how filthy my vehicle is! Um yeah, there is maybe a dozen or so dust particles on my dash that just about every car has in it; other than those, it's spotless. Offended but jokingly passing it off, I say I left my sham-wow at home to which she says this in reply: I told you people call me "the bitch" at work...

  Alright. This date is off to a flying start!

  Trudging on. We have a decent meal, talk & watch some of the football game. After the dinner, I asked what she would like to do? I'm big on mutual agreement. I don't want someone to have to do something they wont like. She says she doesn't care. Okay, I prepared for that, I had a few things in mind. There was a movie theatre right there; we could take in a movie. There was a mall we could walk through, talk & people watch. There was even a little bar where we could go to & have a drink, listen to some music and continue our evening. All suggestions I put forth was greeted with the same reply: "Meh"

  Alright, as we walk to the car my mind is thinking "what in the hell does she want to do?" when she suddenly steps off the sidewalk and on to the parking pavement and states the following "I really need to be looking up at you" I said: Excuse me? Because, honestly I didn't understand. She said "You told me you were six foot tall." Yes? I am, give or take a quarter inch. Then she says: "You must be shrinking in your old age, because I'm 5'11" & I'm taller than you" REALLY? Okay.... That was enough to set me off but I didn't. Then she steps back up on to the sidewalk and wants to stand side to side with me to see who's taller? What are we, 13? (for the record I was a bit taller)

  At this point I decide the date is over. Being bitchy about the "dirty car" is one thing. Mehing all of the ideas I had suggested for things to do is another; but acting like we are pre-teens having a pissing contest over who's taller? Yeah, this is why I have my skeptical brain! I drive her back to her car; sit in mine for a while talking. She makes the comment "We just going to sit here in the car or are we going to do something?" I reply (now pissed, but stoic) You didn't seemed too interested in what I chose to do; if you have an idea, I'd love to hear it. *crickets*

  The date ends there. Being the gentleman I am, I walked her to her car, gave her a hug and told her to be careful on the way home. I get "I bet you'll be home before me" I said: Excuse me? She replies "I bet we're closer to your house than mine, so you'll be home first." I answer: No, actually I picked this place because it is the exact mid-point between our houses. She says "Yours is highway, mine will be stop & go"...

  You'd think that's the end right? Oh No! I get a text as I'm driving home: You home yet? I reply: No. She then says "text me when you get there" *eye roll* Okay, will do! 20 minutes later, I text: "I'm home?" She replies: I bet you've been home for a while. I just pulled in my driveway. REALLY? I didn't reply. The next day she tests me a forwarded group text joke about it being National Retard Day (remember I said earlier to store that scenario I wrote about) That so offended me that I (Dan, the guy who is never a loss for words) didn't even know how to reply to it. That text offended two of my friends that don't even have special needs people in thier lives!

  Later that day, I sent a text telling her how I thought that joke she sent me was in very bad taste and how it totally offended me. Do you know what I got in reply? "How was your day sweetie?" WTF? I replied by saying "Thanks for going on the date but I don't think we are a good fit" To that I got: You going to bed? I thought we might talk on the phone? I texted back: I don't think we can talk anymore. We just aren't the same type of people. good luck to you....

  I didn't hear anything more from her until the other night at 1:05am as I was driving home from work and she calls me. I answered: Hello? "Hey Baby!" Ugh! I reiterated to her all of the issues I had from the date & how offensive the text was & repeated that I didn't think her and I talking anymore would work. She said: "Well I told you I was a bitch. Okay?" I then said "Thanks for the date, you take care" & hung up the phone.

  So in the end, my skeptical brain prevails again. And although it has failed me in the past, more times than not, it is dead on. Chalk up another life lesson and another wasted $60 on a pointless date. Ya know, Alanis Morrissette is right, you really do live and learn!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Everybody Hurts..... Sometimes


When your day is long
And the night, the night is yours alone
When you're sure you've had enough
Of this life, well hang
on


Indeed.... There are times I never reveal myself to anyone and then there are times that I have a few people to turn to to rant upon; then there are times I hear a song and it reminds me to buck up

Don't let yourself go
'Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes


Most people know that I currently have a job as a test driver for one of the big three auto companies and due to a severe case of over hiring of late I, and many others, have not been getting scheduled to work much and the loss of hours & income has become quite a strain on me mentally.

Sometimes everything is wrong
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone (Hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go (Hold on)
If you think you've had too much
Of this life, well hang on


And through all of this down time, I have been frantically searching for a new job, of any type. I literally have posted & dropped off close to thirty resumes and applications a week to places as far and wide as factory work to convenience stores & everything in between. To date, I have not received an interview request from any of them.

Everybody hurts
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts
Don't throw your hand, oh no

In the meantime, others that are close to me, also frantically and casually have been looking for work as well but in their case, they turn in one inquiry and almost immediately get a response. And this has caused me to become a little disillusioned with myself and the whole thing.


Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone
No, no, no, you are not alone

 Not to the point of doing anything to harm myself or even to call myself depressed, but it has caused me to reconsider my confidence in myself. All my supporters I have confided in have done a wonderful job reassuring me that something will come up and everything happens for a reason, but again, that doubt lingers in my mind.


If you're on your own in this life
The days and nights are long
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on

 My entire life, belief and self-confidence in myself has always been my strong suit. Not fearing failure and willing to take a risk to succeed was second nature. But this lapse in confirmation of late has left me in doubt of my abilities and shook me.


Well, everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody cries
Everybody hurts sometimes
And everybody hurts sometimes

  The support has helped but then today I hear the song scattered through this post and think back to my friend Courtney; How she asked me to record this for her when she was down and how it really meant a lot to her that I recorded it for her. Yes, it's written and originally performed by REM but I listened to my version today as I was having all of this second guessing and like her, it reaffirmed in me that I will have down times and I need to be strong and...


So hold on, hold on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts